Friday, March 21, 2014

First semester almost over, and serious doubting.

Well, the web development tools class ended, and I've only got one class to mess with.

It doesn't feel that much different really.

Now that the class is over, all I can think of is: That was too much money for a 10 week class that barely scraped the surface of Dreamweaver. Really? Am I doing the right thing here? I hoped for something more intensive, but I don't think I'm going to find it at this school.

I had a feeling that this school was more healthcare focused, but this shit is ridiculous. My networking class is all right, but it's not a subject I can keep straight in my head, and I have no love for it. Otherwise, all they seem to talk about is nursing. The most expensive facility on campus is the mock hospital. They tagged the other stuff on as an afterthought.

Without having any industry contacts or an academic advisor in the business that can give me advice, I feel like I'm screwed. I tried asking the web course instructor about local companies that might offer internships, and she had no idea. When I first moved down here I couldn't even get this school to answer an email about the program. I'm starting to see why.

No booming tech industry in the country, an hour or two to get somewhere that MIGHT be an improvement. A car that's always in need of fixing. No steady job. No money. I want to cry thinking about how I'm going to die out here.

Because I have to spend about a $1000 to take two English courses and a math course that I've already taken, I thought about trying to find training course or bootcamp somewhere. Most of them are on the west coast or NYC, so sucks to be you if you're not fortunate enough to win the lottery or live near one of these.

I found one Atlanta-based bootcamp that branched out to Asheville, but it's a lot of money down plus the cost of a new laptop and I have no reliable way to get there. It's a bit further away than the school I'm going to, and it involves driving up a mountain highway that is a little bit intimidating. Since it's new, I haven't read much about it outside of the copy on their website. I haven't found any thing bad about them on the web, but I haven't found anything good, either. Plenty about the the damn kid's coding camp though, as shallow as it is. What about a grown person that wants to get knew skill and a new job? Anyone? Damn.

I don't know if I can justify the cost to mom for an 8 week class. They have networking opportunities, but I've been so isolated my social skills are nearly gone.

I can learn things online, but I need help bringing it together into a portfolio or demonstrable skills. I need advice and guidance. I have these "Is this going to even work?" moments regularly but this time it's hit particularly hard. I feel angry and sad, and alone.